Showing posts with label modesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label modesty. Show all posts
Monday, May 14, 2018
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Cover Up
A few months ago, I saw an article about a school that held a swimming event. The school requested that girls wear t-shirts over their bathing suits for the event.
One mother publicly protested the rule because she felt that the school was going to make young girls feel ashamed of their bodies.
During my pre-teen and teen years, I was a member of the most amazing youth group—in fact, I still talk to most of my fellow members on a regular basis. We had a youth director who was quite aware of the age group he was dealing with. We went swimming on multiple occasions, and the rule was always that we were to wear t-shirts over our bathing suits.
I don’t remember feeling ashamed of my body. I don’t remember pondering, “Hmmm, what type of message does this rule send to me?” Uh—the message was something to the effect of, “Wear a t-shirt over your bathing suit and be ready at 1:00.” Period. It never occurred to me (and certainly not to my mother) to question that rule (or any other rule that he made for that matter). Frankly, knowing me, I probably had picks on the seat of my bathing suit from sitting at the edge of the pool last year anyway, so it was probably a relief. I don’t remember the details. But I do remember that all I could think about was a whole afternoon of swimming with my friends. Put on a t-shirt? Okay. Will there be brownies there like last time?
My daughter is in the pre-school age range now, but when she enters the pre-teen years, I hope she’s fortunate enough to have a youth pastor who is as protective as the ones I had. I PRAY that she does. I will urge her to cover up that little body of hers. Out of shame? Absolutely not. I want her to know that her body is a precious treasure.
Come on, girls. No matter what size we are, deep down, we know the value of our bodies. Didn’t ol’ John Mayer call us a “wonderland”? Putting a t-shirt over a swimsuit is a little like an artist who puts a drape over his painting until he chooses to reveal it at his art show. Is he ashamed of it? Or is the painting so precious that he’s a little picky about how and where and when it’s revealed—and to whom?
--Andrea
--Andrea
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Whatcha Got Wednesday: January 27, 2016 Edition
"Let's Talk About Sex . . . AGAIN . . . "
As a follow-up to the previous question about sex, I'd like to offer some resources to use as a backbone for your discussions. Remember, this is not a one-and-done situation. This particular subject is a prime example of why we should be using leadership parenting. As John Rosemond says, your parenting has to be an attitude--a point of view. Too often we are reactive in our parenting when we should be proactive in the way we present not only our authority, but also our guidance in such areas. Do not fall victim to the notion that all teenagers are rebellious and that once they reach "that stage," they are gonna do what they are gonna do. Nonsense!
The lessons you wish to teach you daughters AND sons should start at a very young age. Your children learn very quickly what your expectations are and what your non-negotiables are. If you waiver and fail to be consistent, then yes, chances are high that you will have a rebellious teenager--but you also probably have a handful already. When a child does not have the simple security of knowing that your yes means yes and your no means no, then you are practically begging your child to test your boundaries.
As a parent, if you are consistent from the very beginning, then those moments of frustration will decrease as your children grow because they will feel secure in the knowledge of where their parents stand. They will know (even when they don't like it) that you have their best interests at heart--that YOU are the parent LEADING them as they grow.
So, parents . . . start early. How about the clothes you allow your children to wear? You may think that a onesie with a cute saying on the front (Diva, Princess, Heartbreaker, Handsome, etc.) is harmless fun, but even those seemingly innocent sayings perpetuate a notion of "Look at me!" Don't let those attitudes take root from the very beginning with your children. Even if the child can't read the words that are plastered across his chest, he will instinctively know that people are reacting and noticing him. Instead, urge your children--even as toddlers--to be humble and modest.
Start teaching your daughters to be ladies and your sons to be gentlemen, and start early--earlier than you think. Model this behavior. Personally, I can't stand that the new norm is for girls to wear shorts under dresses and skirts. I realize that isn't a popular view, but hear me out: what motivation do our daughters have to learn to keep their legs together, learn what they can and cannot play on while wearing a dress (monkey bars, etc.) if they have on shorts to prevent their panties from showing? I know teenage girls right now who sit like cowboys in a skirt because they are so accustomed to wearing shorts under them. Teach them to be ladies, for Pete's sake!
I could go on (shocker, I know), but you get the gist.
As you approach the specifics of marriage, intercourse, and childbirth, use the Bible (there's a lot of really good stuff in there!) You'll find a few verses below to get you started. But keep in mind that these are YOUR children; as with anything else, trust your own gut, and don't completely rely on fodder from others. Dig into the Word on your own. Children always know when you're genuinely sharing or just regurgitating something that you've read or heard.
Genesis 1:27: "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them."
Genesis 1:28: "God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
Psalm 139:13: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."
Genesis 2:18-25: "The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.' That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."
I Corinthians 6:20: "You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
I Thessalonians 4:4: "that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable."
Books
For girls, the American Girl Doll books The Care and Keeping of You are very good and thorough. Book 1 is for younger girls, and Book 2 is for older teens. My daughter and I took the first book along on a girls' day, and I had her read aloud as we bebopped around that day. It was great! No interruptions, she had my full attention, and it covered things that I might not have thought to bring up. I highly recommend it! I am still searching for a good boy book, but I have also found that most guys I know "ain't reading no book about that stuff!" So . . . to be continued!
Bottom line: take charge of the subject. Please don't sacrifice your children's knowledge because you're squeamish.
Think of the way that you learned about sex: was it a good experience? How would you have liked to learn about sex for the first time? Did the knowledge you had have a direct result on how you handled yourself when intimate moments arose in your life?
Grow in wisdom for the sake of your children. We know you can do this . . . and we're here for you!
--Stacey
As a follow-up to the previous question about sex, I'd like to offer some resources to use as a backbone for your discussions. Remember, this is not a one-and-done situation. This particular subject is a prime example of why we should be using leadership parenting. As John Rosemond says, your parenting has to be an attitude--a point of view. Too often we are reactive in our parenting when we should be proactive in the way we present not only our authority, but also our guidance in such areas. Do not fall victim to the notion that all teenagers are rebellious and that once they reach "that stage," they are gonna do what they are gonna do. Nonsense!
The lessons you wish to teach you daughters AND sons should start at a very young age. Your children learn very quickly what your expectations are and what your non-negotiables are. If you waiver and fail to be consistent, then yes, chances are high that you will have a rebellious teenager--but you also probably have a handful already. When a child does not have the simple security of knowing that your yes means yes and your no means no, then you are practically begging your child to test your boundaries.
As a parent, if you are consistent from the very beginning, then those moments of frustration will decrease as your children grow because they will feel secure in the knowledge of where their parents stand. They will know (even when they don't like it) that you have their best interests at heart--that YOU are the parent LEADING them as they grow.
So, parents . . . start early. How about the clothes you allow your children to wear? You may think that a onesie with a cute saying on the front (Diva, Princess, Heartbreaker, Handsome, etc.) is harmless fun, but even those seemingly innocent sayings perpetuate a notion of "Look at me!" Don't let those attitudes take root from the very beginning with your children. Even if the child can't read the words that are plastered across his chest, he will instinctively know that people are reacting and noticing him. Instead, urge your children--even as toddlers--to be humble and modest.
Start teaching your daughters to be ladies and your sons to be gentlemen, and start early--earlier than you think. Model this behavior. Personally, I can't stand that the new norm is for girls to wear shorts under dresses and skirts. I realize that isn't a popular view, but hear me out: what motivation do our daughters have to learn to keep their legs together, learn what they can and cannot play on while wearing a dress (monkey bars, etc.) if they have on shorts to prevent their panties from showing? I know teenage girls right now who sit like cowboys in a skirt because they are so accustomed to wearing shorts under them. Teach them to be ladies, for Pete's sake!
I could go on (shocker, I know), but you get the gist.
As you approach the specifics of marriage, intercourse, and childbirth, use the Bible (there's a lot of really good stuff in there!) You'll find a few verses below to get you started. But keep in mind that these are YOUR children; as with anything else, trust your own gut, and don't completely rely on fodder from others. Dig into the Word on your own. Children always know when you're genuinely sharing or just regurgitating something that you've read or heard.
Genesis 1:27: "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them."
Genesis 1:28: "God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
Psalm 139:13: "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."
Genesis 2:18-25: "The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.' That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."
I Corinthians 6:20: "You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
I Thessalonians 4:4: "that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable."
Books
For girls, the American Girl Doll books The Care and Keeping of You are very good and thorough. Book 1 is for younger girls, and Book 2 is for older teens. My daughter and I took the first book along on a girls' day, and I had her read aloud as we bebopped around that day. It was great! No interruptions, she had my full attention, and it covered things that I might not have thought to bring up. I highly recommend it! I am still searching for a good boy book, but I have also found that most guys I know "ain't reading no book about that stuff!" So . . . to be continued!
Bottom line: take charge of the subject. Please don't sacrifice your children's knowledge because you're squeamish.
Think of the way that you learned about sex: was it a good experience? How would you have liked to learn about sex for the first time? Did the knowledge you had have a direct result on how you handled yourself when intimate moments arose in your life?
Grow in wisdom for the sake of your children. We know you can do this . . . and we're here for you!
--Stacey
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Whatcha Got Wednesday: January 13, 2016 Edition
Q: What is the most appropriate age to have "the talk" with my daughter?
A: First, and most importantly, recognize that it is never just one talk. Teaching your daughters--and sons too, for that matter--about moral and Biblical truths about sex and such MUST be a continuous conversation. For a lot of parents, talking about such things with your children can be quite intimidating and overwhelming.
Go straight to the Word. Using scripture as your guide gives you just the right thing to say and a multitude of opportunities to discuss so much more.
At my house, we've had those initial break-the-ice convos about menstrual cycles and how a baby is made. So when they were around 10-11, my children and I worked through the book of Proverbs. We read a chapter a day, taking time to discuss every couple of verses. Our conversation has been very open and age-appropriate. I am a firm believer in answering only what they ask. Yes, we need to educate, but we don't need to over-educate. It is a delicate balance when you're talking about preservation of childhood innocence. However, I don't want them getting the 411 via magazines in the grocery checkout or in the school bathroom between classes.
God's Word will never fail you. Use it as your guide always. And when it comes to those tough conversations, LITERALLY use it as your guide. Sex and relationship discussions, especially when discussed using the Bible, more often than not, lead to discussions about SO many other facets of living out your faith. It isn't enough for them (or anyone for that matter) to hear us say "believe THIS." They need to know why, ask questions, and dig deeper. We all do!
Talking to our children about sex and relationships needs to be interwoven naturally in our daily lives. This world is sure enough throwing more "knowledge" at them than we can shake a stick, flag, gun, or gender role at! This means addressing why you choose not to wear words across the buttocks of your pants for example, wearing appropriate colored bras under certain clothing to stay modest, and why you will NOT be purchasing thongs for your daughter in middle school. You get the point . . . .
We have to wake up and realize that being overwhelmed and unsure of how to even approach some of these topics needs to be conquered! If you're nervous or hesitant . . . get over it. This is a big deal! It is our responsibility to our children and their future spouses to stay ahead of what the world is teaching.
Use the Word . . . make time to have those conversations . . . and develop those relationships. They won't just come you one day to discuss the burning desires or fears of their hearts if there's been no foundation. Start now. They need you.
--Stacey
A: First, and most importantly, recognize that it is never just one talk. Teaching your daughters--and sons too, for that matter--about moral and Biblical truths about sex and such MUST be a continuous conversation. For a lot of parents, talking about such things with your children can be quite intimidating and overwhelming.
Go straight to the Word. Using scripture as your guide gives you just the right thing to say and a multitude of opportunities to discuss so much more.
At my house, we've had those initial break-the-ice convos about menstrual cycles and how a baby is made. So when they were around 10-11, my children and I worked through the book of Proverbs. We read a chapter a day, taking time to discuss every couple of verses. Our conversation has been very open and age-appropriate. I am a firm believer in answering only what they ask. Yes, we need to educate, but we don't need to over-educate. It is a delicate balance when you're talking about preservation of childhood innocence. However, I don't want them getting the 411 via magazines in the grocery checkout or in the school bathroom between classes.
God's Word will never fail you. Use it as your guide always. And when it comes to those tough conversations, LITERALLY use it as your guide. Sex and relationship discussions, especially when discussed using the Bible, more often than not, lead to discussions about SO many other facets of living out your faith. It isn't enough for them (or anyone for that matter) to hear us say "believe THIS." They need to know why, ask questions, and dig deeper. We all do!
Talking to our children about sex and relationships needs to be interwoven naturally in our daily lives. This world is sure enough throwing more "knowledge" at them than we can shake a stick, flag, gun, or gender role at! This means addressing why you choose not to wear words across the buttocks of your pants for example, wearing appropriate colored bras under certain clothing to stay modest, and why you will NOT be purchasing thongs for your daughter in middle school. You get the point . . . .
We have to wake up and realize that being overwhelmed and unsure of how to even approach some of these topics needs to be conquered! If you're nervous or hesitant . . . get over it. This is a big deal! It is our responsibility to our children and their future spouses to stay ahead of what the world is teaching.
Use the Word . . . make time to have those conversations . . . and develop those relationships. They won't just come you one day to discuss the burning desires or fears of their hearts if there's been no foundation. Start now. They need you.
--Stacey
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