Thursday, August 29, 2019

It's not supposed to be this hard . . . .

Motherhood is not supposed to be this hard.

In fact, just a couple of generations back, most women considered it fun. They also considered raising children to be one of several interesting things that they did.

We often find that the same women who focus solely on the role of mother are also the most drained among us. And they're also the same women who share photos of their children and proclaim, “This is my whole world!”

Don’t form a club of women based on the burden of motherhood. Drop the burden!

What’s making you tired? Women generally report noise and mess as their top two. I would add your schedule (and your children’s schedules) to that list. See if any of these fit your lifestyle:

Are you doing too much around the house?
Are you doing chores that your able-bodied children are capable of doing?
Are you allowing each child to participate in more than one extracurricular activity?
Is the family eating dinner around the table less than three times a week (or never)?
If your child gets an invitation to a weekend birthday party, does it automatically go on the calendar?
Do you have trouble remembering the last time you enjoyed unplanned, unscheduled time at home?

We seem to be concerned that if we’re not involved in every aspect of our children’s lives, we’ll be seen as bad mothers. But they are separate people. They will eventually leave the nest, and as weepy as that makes us all (and it’s okay to mourn that thought), it’s right and healthy and of the Lord to let them create their own lives. Letting them go is the selfless thing to do. Think of them, not yourself. Imagine them in thriving, healthy families of their own.

What child feels free to leave his mother when she’s proclaiming to everyone, “He’s my HEART! He’s my WORLD!” Okay . . . do you want to still be coordinating his dental appointments when he’s 32? (The right answer is no.)

Let’s take it down a few notches. Love them, but don’t be in love with them. Save that kind of passion for your husband. If you’re not married, then reserve that kind of passion for your own interests.

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