“My dear friends, don’t believe
everything you hear. Carefully weigh and examine what people tell you. Not
everyone who talks about God comes from God. There are a lot of lying preachers
loose in the world.” --I John 4:1 (the
Message)
A colleague and I were talking recently about current events,
and we got into a discussion about feel-good messages. There seems to be a
movement geared toward women—especially self-proclaimed exhausted mothers—with
a lot of empty, pseudo-biblical banners. I commented, "You don't go to
church to hear what you want to hear but to hear what you need to hear."
Sure, no one wants their toes stepped on (figuratively or literally—kids, I’m
looking at you!) but I tell ya, those hard sermons and conversations are always
the most personal, and they stick with me long after my Sunday afternoon nap.
We’re living in a society where books, conferences, Pinterest
posts, and Facebook memes are supposed to bandage the parts of our lives that
need repentance and the grace of Christ. The fact that we continue to seek
self-help books and messages proves that they aren’t helping us; otherwise,
we’d read the one book, get our lives together, and then go spend our
hard-earned dollars elsewhere.
Despite the warm fuzzies all these “well-intentioned”
messages send, RARELY do we hear what we NEED to hear, and thus starts a cycle
that begins to define us as well as our relationships. Oh sure, there may be
mantras to get up, get it together, you are woman, take up your banner . . . but
are we following sound theology as we go a-marching? As women, we are also a
pretty prideful group, no matter how far off the rails we’ve gotten riding the
Hot Mess Express. It’s almost as if the bigger your “mess,” the better your
yoga pants.
By the way, life as a woman is so much more than yoga pants,
wine, dry shampoo and *gasp* being mom . . . I digress.
While feel-good messages make us feel—well, good (for a
bit)—they don’t call us to action. They just comfort us
while we stay in our collective mess. So many lessons are left unlearned because
the steps to learn them are unpopular or too harsh. I'd venture a guess
frustration and joy are painfully amiss in these situations as well.
When you think about the woman that God created you
to be, what does she look like? Is she a hesitant, self-absorbed girl who is
wearing yoga pants and a messy bun, drinking wine and pouring over a “go get
‘em, girl” book filled with vague, empty messages that aren’t even biblical? Or
is she respectable, confident, and hard-working? Is she timidly searching the
internet for answers to her questions, or is she a person who seeks and speaks
truth, understands what true love is, and acts as a formidable authority in her
own home?
Want some real truth in this area? Titus 2 is where it’s at!
Who do you go to when you need advice on womanhood?
Marriage? Parenting? Careers? Bible study? Take a careful look at who’s trying
to sell you their books and get you to come to their conferences. Do they have
their act together? Do you see fruit in their lives? Are they motivated by
sales, celebrity, and owning the most polished corner of the internet, or do
they have a passion for seeing you become a thriving woman in Christ?
And for that matter, do these people even KNOW the
Bible?
When you’re reading God’s Word and seeking His
heart, then there will be times that you’ll feel comforted, protected, loved,
and satisfied. Celebrate those moments! But ladies, if you’re not also fairly
regularly feeling corrected, convicted, humbled, and flat-out schooled, then that
ain’t the gospel!
Our children need discipline and correction. Well,
guess what? We do too. And we need friends, mentors, and heroes who are willing
to remind you that life is not all about you, it’s about Christ, and if you’re
wallowing in your own mess, then you need a reality check. We NEED to hear what
is painful, we NEED correction, we NEED to redefine acts of love. If, as
parents, we never correct our children or allow them to fail—or, God forbid, be
sad--how are we showing them true love?
A child NEEDS to see a husband put his wife first and vice versa. A child NEEDS to know a husband and wife that
lead in the home. A child NEEDS to hear “no.”
A child NEEDS limitation. But most of all, a child NEEDS you to step up
and be confident in who Christ calls us to be: a loving authority in the home modeled after
His love and correction in our relationships with Him.
As women, we should not embrace the mess as a
collective effort. We are better than that, y’all!
Know His truth. Embrace the hard messages with the
fuzzy ones. Tear up your ticket for the Hot Mess Express. Let those toes hang
out!
Chipped polish and bruises are calling cards of something
great.
