SLEEP

MANNERS

Look him in the eye!

What do you do when your children become shy around adults?

Give them some tools to overcome those moments! Here's one story that might help:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpV0bhnBd0o

Look for more videos from Happily Parenting on YouTube!

Discipline

What do you think when you use the word "discipline"? Do you enjoy being with (or working with) people who are NOT disciplined? Listen to this teachable moment on our Happily Parenting YouTube channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6trLD1MbNU4


And as we always say . . . if you're not having fun (for the most part!), you're doing it wrong!

#areyouhappilyparenting

"PILLAR OF SALT!"

Have you heard this story? It's the one about how the LESS attention you pay to your children, the MORE attention they will pay to you.

Does that sound odd?

Link to the video is below. Try it and let us know how it goes!

Pillar of Salt!

--Stacey

#areyouhappilyparenting  #ifyouarenthavingfunyouredoingitwrong


 

Q: "I have two children, ages 6 and 8. I love my children very much, but I don't really like them most days. What is wrong with me? I feel like a failure as a mother!"

A: First, let me say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. The only thing you have working against you is also the same thing you have going for you: you were born! Each of us--born sinners that we are--are also created in Christ's image. We love because He loves us so much so He gave His own Son for us! As parents, how many of us would be able to do such a thing? Most of us can barely fathom the thought of them sleeping over at a friend's house! As John Rosemond puts it, "We are but sinners raising sinners." While we are shooting for sainthood, obtaining wisdom in this life is full of struggle and frustration.

No doubt you love your children, and I would even go so far as to bet you'd give your life for them! For most parents, that is a given, even in cases where the definition of "love" is a bit skewed. But it would be absurd to suggest that you don't relate more to one child over another and that this itself will change as they grow. It's just simple logic and personality understanding. So it makes sense that you won't necessarily "like" your children all the time. My own children and I had this very conversation once.

WHAT!?!?!? YOU TOLD YOUR KIDS YOU DON'T LIKE THEM!!!???

Yes . . . calm down . . . wait for it . . . .

My daughter asked one random afternoon driving down the road (because the big questions are never set up like an after-school special) who I loved more, her or her brother? Both were in the car, by the way; it instantly became like rapid fire as they both tried offering their best and obviously self-absorbed answer to the question in play. Ya feel me? I told her that I loved them both the same; a mother's love can't be measured, but if it could, each of their cups would be full. I was sure to include that they were two very different people . . . very reminiscent of the book I Love You the Purplest by Barbara M. Joosse (I taught both of my children kindergarten and first grade, so of course I use every opportunity to interject a book reference--I can't help myself!) Like most conversations of this nature, she pressed on and on, to which I calmly and very matter-of-factly added, "But sometimes I like you different." She immediately responded with, "Like right now, you like him more cause I'm bugging you?" Bingo, little girl.

Of course, my experience with this emotional struggle is quite different from other families I've worked with. I've known parents who have tried to fight every battle for their children from day one, never held them accountable, consistency was out the window, and the resulting self-induced behavioral challenges were too numerous to mention. I've had these parents sitting before me weeping when they had finally reached the point of breaking because of the "love" they thought they were giving the child. I asked, "I bet most days you dread picking him up from childcare after work?" The mother sobbed and simply said, "Yes." She was quick to defend her love but had to admit that she didn't "like" what her son was becoming and could hardly stand to be around him. As sad as this is, it is very common.

I don't know the depth of your situation, but if you find that you relate more to the latter scenario, step back and assess your situation. Are you stuck in a season of serving your children because you believe that "that's what good mothers do"--yet you now realize that you're raising a narcissist? If you're there, I want you to know that getting back on track is not impossible. I would love to talk with you more.

Bottom line: truly loving your children comes in your parenting attitude and how well you lead your children. When we can love them in this way, chances are we are gonna like them on most days too!

--Stacey

Waking Up

Summer is too much fun to sleep it all away . . . .

 #livesummerdeliberately

Summer is Thirsty Business

Y'all stay hydrated!

#livesummerdeliberately

Messes and Noise

We hear it over and over: the two things that make moms lose it the fastest during the summer months are messes and noise. With a little bit of prep, maybe we can help you keep your "lose-it" moments to a bare minimum this summer.

 #livesummerdeliberately

Whatcha Got Wednesday: November 11, 2015 Edition

I am collector of stories, you might say; I LOVE a good funny, especially when it comes to kids, teaching, and parenting. Of course, everything isn't always funny, and there are some real struggles out there. Those times when it DOESN'T come naturally, more often than not, those moments are happening in MANY other homes too. I have been accused on more than one occasion of "peeking in windows" and "listening in" on household conversations when I share inevitable scenarios with a group. Nope . . . not a creeper . . . I just hear the same things over and over. So NEVER feel alone in this parenting gig!

Here are a few of the MOST asked questions (and frustrations) from parents:

Q: My 5-year-old son will not listen the first time, especially when it comes to cleaning up. How can I get him to do what he's asked to do without losing my cool and yelling? It can be anything, even things he's done before and knows to do. I feel like a broken record!

A: Stop asking him to do anything. TELL him what you expect him to do. Asking offers an option to NOT do whatever it is that you want him to do. The same is also true when it comes to things like leaving the house, settling down during a meal, etc.

With boys especially, never dole out a very broad set of elaborate instructions (such as, "Clean your room.") Oh no; you might as well say "go get lost in space." For boys, be very specific. For instance, say something like, "Pick up your dirty clothes on the bedroom floor." or "Make your bed." or "Put the legos in the blue bin." After he completes each task, give the next instruction.

The best illustration to gaining insight on how God designed a man's brain came from Mark Gungor's "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" series. Think of the male brain as several boxes, and within each is a specific area of concern: one for the car, one for his job, one for you, etc. The boxes DON'T MIX! Now, to a woman, that is just crazy talk, 'cause all our mess is mixed together up there! The same is true for younger males. Knowing this (and, by the way, I have yet to have a man tell me that this illustration or way of thinking is incorrect) helps us to understand our boys better. Be specific! And if he still can't get it, then there's always the trash. I mean . . . who really wants to step on another Lego?!

Q: My daughter won't sleep in her own bed. She is 3 years old. We have tried putting her in her bed, but she always comes back into ours every single night. None of us are sleeping well, and it is making me a very grumpy mother the next day. I am so frustrated and don't know how to keep her from coming into our room? Help!?

A: Lock the door.

Seriously, if she can't GET in, she won't COME in. Mothers especially are wimps in this department. I love you girls . . . but c'mon! She will be alright. Put a pillow and blanket by the door if you must, but end it. As long as you're the only one bothered by a situation, it will never change. Eventually, that soft bed will be much more comfy than a pallet on the floor. Now . . . DO NOT try this for the first time on a Monday night when you have to go to work the next day. Do it on a Friday night when you don't have to go to work the next day. Be smart about it, and don't add to your frustrations. And get some sleep. You need it ;)


--Stacey


Do you have parenting questions? Send them to us, and join us right here each Wednesday for Whatcha Got Wednesday!

Happily Parenting: The Blog

So we’ve added a blog . . . I mean, there are so few out there we felt more than compelled to do so--you know, for the masses. For those of you just joining us, Happily Parenting consists of two women on a steadfastly passionate mission to get parents to CHILL OUT and parent by the book we’ve been given: THE Book! We want every female parent to embrace being wives and women first before labeling themselves “Mom.” Girls, be interesting, for goodness sake. You can’t be interesting to your children if your whole lives revolve around them. We want every male parent to step up and be a man. Don’t let her boss you around . . . LEAD your family. (Side note: we have a very large male fan base.)

Okay, here we go: my name is Stacey Watts, and I’m a certified Leadership Parenting Coach through the John Rosemond Leadership Parenting Institute, a speaker, a veteran teacher of nearly 17 years, and . . . well, we’re not going to tell you everything here because we would rather you visit our web site! Andrea Fuller is my partner in service and Happily Parenting’s Program Director. She is the driving force behind our mission and has quite the knack for PR (that comes from those strong, sweet, southern roots of hers)! She’s too cute; again, go see our web site.

Andrea and I are housewives, not stay-at-home mothers. We are madly in love with our husbands, and . . . well . . . we really just want to talk you off the ledge when it comes to managing marriage and family and just get you to LAUGH! Parenting is so much more fun when you’re not so dang serious all the time. The kids will be a’ight. Relax! They won’t need therapy at 20 if every outfit isn’t smocked and embroidered with a giant bow to match. However, if you don’t start stepping back, then you may be the one in therapy.

We have known each other for over twenty-five years. Although we were raised in very different homes, our similarities more than outweigh our differences. See for yourself:

We’re both dazzled by the love of Jesus Christ

We are children of God, women, wives, and mothers . . . in THAT order

We’re both southern-bred through and through—from the pearl earrings to the pedicured piggies

We both have a love affair with emerald green . . . especially when it comes to shoes and purses

We LOVE family traditions—and the quirkier, the better

Between us, we have a combined 33 happy years of marriage under our belts; and even after that many years, we still think that our husbands are super heroes

We both have one son and one daughter and enjoy the experience of raising one of each

We both suspect that our dogs have mental health concerns

We both get slightly giddy when we see a child read for pleasure

We both lose our sense of humor when we see a child under the age of 16 with a smart phone

There’s some really good stuff headed your way and hopefully more than a few laughs! Check us out daily, and be sure to tell a friend . . . you know . . . THAT friend . . . ummm hmmm, her! ;)

--Stacey